The Good Shepherd and Good Shepherding
Conversation #1 - Introduction
Ministering to a world of grief while immersed in our own pain and loss.
INTRODUCTION
I was recently invited to speak on this important topic at a conference. I had to cancel due to illness, but I still wanted to share what was in my heart while preparing for it. I was expecting to speak to people in ministry who were already acquainted with what I wanted to discuss. If you find a thought here to help on your journey, that’s all I aim for.
Each conversation works as a stand-alone for small groups or an intimate coffee time.
CONTEXT
Losses come in so many shapes and sizes. For this presentation, I’m focusing on the loss of 2 spouses. The Lord gave me 45 years with Linda and 6 years with Carol. Health issues were a big part of both of their stories. Linda was born with hers. Carol had her share of serious issues, but it was a major stroke and the subsequent 10 months that changed everything for her—for us.
Linda and I met around a stereo playing the Beatles’ new album—Abbey Road. That was the Fall of 1969. It would be nearly 3 years before we surrendered our hearts to Jesus. Linda left for heaven from Cancun, Mexico, on Feb. 02, 2015. We had a big crowd for her funeral in our home/church. I shared words in English out of respect for her brother and sister, who came from Washington State and Minnesota. I remain so thankful to my friend and pastor, Darrell Sparks, who came and shared an excellent message for everyone, with one of our ladies interpreting for him.
Carol and I met in September 2017. Her daughter and I met at a 3-day local workshop focused on helping middle school children and families in crisis. I thought my Spanish could be useful. She figured out she knew my family from the church they attended together. She also mentioned she and her family had been missionaries in Japan until her Dad was overwhelmed by the cancer that would take him to heaven. April mentioned something about me to her mom. Carol started reading and commenting on my blog. So basically, I tell people she stalked me on the Internet! Carol went to heaven from Vancouver, WA, on September 23, 2023. I was honored to preach at her funeral on October 07. We had a big crowd for that one, too.
PURPOSE
My subtitles are not in any particular order. We Americans like 10-step programs, checklists, and timetables for completing tasks. But grief doesn’t happen to everyone the same way, in the same order, or with the same intensity. Trying to manage my grief has gone about as well as my efforts to manage Carol’s cat.
I want to share seed thoughts for personal reflection and conversation starters with key people in our lives. These things have helped me, and I think they will still help me tomorrow.
My agenda is three-fold:
To emphasize we can all experience the healing our Good Shepherd has prepared for us—a healing that restores our sense of purpose and usefulness. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,” (2 Corinthians 1:3, ESV)
To encourage relationship-building of the sort that refreshes us deeply and engages us in helping one another on the same journey.
To be available: It’s a trustworthy attitude when we find ourselves on the backside of another catastrophic transition. If we’re still here, God still has a purpose for us. It’s good to start looking outward again. I want to be available with a listening ear, an empathetic heart, and discretion.
First, some general principles, then on to some practical suggestions.